The girl I am

I love the part in Juno, where she says "I don't really know what kind of girl I am" I have felt that way too. I know what kind of girl I want to be, I know what kind of person I used to be. It seems like a layer of fat and an extra 50 pounds can unfortunately change a person-I know it has me.

I used to be different My self confidence was through the roof. I never worried about what people thought about me. I smiled-a lot. I looked people in the eye. I never used to sit with a pillow on my lap, or have to adjust my clothes a lot. I could always meet new people, strike up a conversation, and never feel self conscious. Those things have changed for me.

You can say what you want, but in my experience being overweight has put a "damper" on me. Now, I am always worried that if someone is looking at me, it is because I am overweight. If I eat in a restaurant people are watching me eat. I am always trying to "appear" skinny in public. I want part of the old me back.