I've tried to avoid it and at times I just KNEW it was lying to me. It has rarely showed me what I wanted to see-but then I have rarely done what is required of me-to see what I have wanted to see!
I have trouble when I am trying to lose weight-I weigh myself EVERYDAY-sometimes more than once a day. I am sure that this is not helpful so this week another goal of mine is to put the scale away. I will not weigh myself this week at all. The next time I weigh myself it will be at the WW's meeting next Tuesday.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
1 week weigh in
Today was weigh in again at Weight Watchers. After 7 days of following the WW flex plan to a T I lost exactly 5 pounds. New weight-195.4. I am feeling pretty excited and rejuvinated after weighing in and attending the meeting today.
I have already exercised today (38 minutes on the eliptical-on cross crountry setting, 15 mins of weight lifting, and 15 mins of walking) I didn't get my weight lifting done (I usually do 30 minutes) but my little 1 year old was unhappy at gym daycare and of course she is more important!
I have to work tonight and work can always be tricky to stay on track. There is usually catered meals or ordering out besides the other junk food that is laying around. I have already made my meal to take to work tonight and my goal is to stick to what I brought!
I have already exercised today (38 minutes on the eliptical-on cross crountry setting, 15 mins of weight lifting, and 15 mins of walking) I didn't get my weight lifting done (I usually do 30 minutes) but my little 1 year old was unhappy at gym daycare and of course she is more important!
I have to work tonight and work can always be tricky to stay on track. There is usually catered meals or ordering out besides the other junk food that is laying around. I have already made my meal to take to work tonight and my goal is to stick to what I brought!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Hunger
I'm hungry. Going to bed now, before I undue everything I did today.
I don't remember the last time I felt hunger.
I don't remember the last time I felt hunger.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The Stats
Thought this would also be important to add
Height 5' 6''
Current Weight" 200.4
BMI 32.3-That is OBESE, according to www.docshop.com/education/bariatrics/calculator/ my ideal weight should be 131 pounds.
My first (big) goal is to lose 20 pounds. That will be 10% of my body weight. I can and will do this! Watch me shrink!
Height 5' 6''
Current Weight" 200.4
BMI 32.3-That is OBESE, according to www.docshop.com/education/bariatrics/calculator/ my ideal weight should be 131 pounds.
My first (big) goal is to lose 20 pounds. That will be 10% of my body weight. I can and will do this! Watch me shrink!
The girl I am
I love the part in Juno, where she says "I don't really know what kind of girl I am" I have felt that way too. I know what kind of girl I want to be, I know what kind of person I used to be. It seems like a layer of fat and an extra 50 pounds can unfortunately change a person-I know it has me.
I used to be different My self confidence was through the roof. I never worried about what people thought about me. I smiled-a lot. I looked people in the eye. I never used to sit with a pillow on my lap, or have to adjust my clothes a lot. I could always meet new people, strike up a conversation, and never feel self conscious. Those things have changed for me.
You can say what you want, but in my experience being overweight has put a "damper" on me. Now, I am always worried that if someone is looking at me, it is because I am overweight. If I eat in a restaurant people are watching me eat. I am always trying to "appear" skinny in public. I want part of the old me back.
I used to be different My self confidence was through the roof. I never worried about what people thought about me. I smiled-a lot. I looked people in the eye. I never used to sit with a pillow on my lap, or have to adjust my clothes a lot. I could always meet new people, strike up a conversation, and never feel self conscious. Those things have changed for me.
You can say what you want, but in my experience being overweight has put a "damper" on me. Now, I am always worried that if someone is looking at me, it is because I am overweight. If I eat in a restaurant people are watching me eat. I am always trying to "appear" skinny in public. I want part of the old me back.
Mirror
I feel a little silly putting up a "headless" picture. But I am just not ready to have the "world" know who I am. I have not told anyone I personally know about this blog or about starting WW again. For now, it is my little secret.
Its hard to look at myself in pictures. For some reason (denial?) I don't ever think I look as bad as I actually do. I look at myself in the mirror and of course, I know I am not skinny, but I don't think I look that big either. Pictures always seem to show the truth though and I need to see it.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Today
So as you can see, my first and last post was on August 1...it is now September 23 and I am not any skinner. I thought about it and even considered erasing that post and deleting this blog so I could start "fresh" but I need the reminder and to be accountable. I think back on the last 6 weeks and how by now I could have lost 10 pounds or more, if only I had kept it up. Why is it so hard to lose weight? How can I have gained roughly five pounds in the last 6 weeks but those five pounds can take FOREVER and much STRUGGLE to get rid of?
I am 26 years old. What am I waiting for? So I can be 40 years old and still be having the same struggles? Still telling myself that "I will start tomorrow" or "I will eat like crazy this week, because I am going to start on Monday" the excuse list is never ending.
So no more tomorrows, I joined weight watchers (again-for the 5th time) TODAY! You might be wondering why I am joining after 4 failures but honestly this program WORKS-I have been the one to stop working at it and therefore failing. I also need the help=I need the acountability, I need the encouragement that WW gives, I need that stinking 5 pound star sticker. Those things may sound small, but for someone like me I gotta have them.
So here we go, another day but at least TODAY I took a step in the right direction.
WW weigh in weight today 200.4.
I am 26 years old. What am I waiting for? So I can be 40 years old and still be having the same struggles? Still telling myself that "I will start tomorrow" or "I will eat like crazy this week, because I am going to start on Monday" the excuse list is never ending.
So no more tomorrows, I joined weight watchers (again-for the 5th time) TODAY! You might be wondering why I am joining after 4 failures but honestly this program WORKS-I have been the one to stop working at it and therefore failing. I also need the help=I need the acountability, I need the encouragement that WW gives, I need that stinking 5 pound star sticker. Those things may sound small, but for someone like me I gotta have them.
So here we go, another day but at least TODAY I took a step in the right direction.
WW weigh in weight today 200.4.
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