I'm Fat.

There I said it.

It wasn't hard to say I have always known it.

What has been hard though, is trying to make other people not think it.

Trying to stand up straighter, suck in my tummy, move like it is easy, and on and on.

I don't want to do that anymore.

I know the solution- eat less move more.

I have also tried that multiple times, it works when I am trying but...

I always give up.

I have joined Weight Watchers 4 times.

In my head it always got too hard.

I slipped, ate too much, gained weight and didn't go back.

I have quit Weight Watchers 4 times.

I have joined 3 different Gyms

I always got lazy.

I didn't feel like going one day, then two, then a month.

I have quit 2 Gyms (still holding on to that third membership)

I am tired of standing in the back of pictures.

Not swimming at my daughters birthday party.

Avoiding the doctor because the fear of getting weighed is too much.

I am going to stop acting and feeling this way.

This is where I need everyone in bloglands help.

I do not know how (of if) anyone will find this blog.

But please leave me a comment (good or bad-but I prefer encouragement :0)

Join me if you want too.

I will be posting my happenings as often as I can.

I will include a (headless) photo of myself.

I will be anonymous until I gain some courage.

I am just not ready to reveal my self yet.

It's about being

healthy

happy

fun

energetic

confident

strong

enduring

motivated

I want so badly to feel all of those again-everyday.

Not just in familiar places either-wherever I go!

Encourage me!

WEIGHT TODAY: 196.5 (That was a little painful..only 3.5 pounds away from 200-I will not be getting any closer though!)